Marital Rape, He Called it Love…
I was with my ex-husband for 13 years. He was a big strong man, yet he was very weak. He was verbally and mentally abusive. He had very low self-esteem. He however didn’t want to better or improve himself. What he did want was to latch on to someone that had potential. That ability to do better, to be better. Once he latched on to that person, he’d begin to resent their gifts and talents the potential that he had looked for. His bitterness and jealousy showed itself in his verbal and mental abuse.
The first time my ex raped me I was so confused. I talked myself into believing I was mistaken. I must have given him the yes and the go ahead without realizing it. The second time it happened, I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong. I said no. I’m sure I did. Maybe I said yes with my body? The third time it happened I was still questioning myself. Why? To realize and admit that I had clearly voiced that I didn’t want to have sex would mean that I had to face the truth. My husband was raping me. The man that’s supposed to love me is violating my body. This just couldn’t be. There must be an explanation and I’m just missing it.
I talked to him about it. He said, I’m your husband and a husband can’t rape his wife. We talked for a long time and he said it would never happen again. Not only did it happen over and over he became violent when I would put up any physical resistance. He would man handle me, pin me and insult me when it was over. This was a living nightmare. I had no idea what I could do about it or where I could get help.
You might wonder why I’d share something so personal? I’d yell it in the Mall, on the Mountain Tops if I thought it would help just one woman. I was ashamed. I’m not ashamed anymore. I’m free. Any man that would violate you, rape you does not love you. I don’t care if he tells you he loves you all day everyday, if he writes it in poems, cards and love letters. He’s a rapist and there is no love in that act, none at all.
My husband raped me at will up until the day I left him. He still called it love…
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5 comments
Cheryl Lewis
January 30, 2012 at 2:37 PM (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Wow! Where did you get that pic from. It adds too much realism to the article.
Cheekie Brenda
January 30, 2012 at 3:07 PM (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I typed in Marital Rape in Google Search that was the first image to appear. Perfect. Thanks.
Cheryl Lewis
January 30, 2012 at 2:41 PM (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I”ve never gone thru marital rape, but I have gone thru mental abuse. I cannot begin to imagine how horrible the two combined would be.
Lisa Mason
January 30, 2012 at 3:17 PM (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m so sorry you went through that. That’s a horrible way to live and I’m glad got you through it. Stay blessed sis.
Cheekie Brenda
January 30, 2012 at 3:21 PM (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thanks Lisa. Life is a classroom. I’ve learned well from my experience. I wish I could spare every woman from ever experiencing this. You stay blessed and thanks for taking the time to read my article. I appreciate it!