There have been more reports to the FDA for aspartame reactions than for all other food additives combined!  Some of the side effects of aspartame can include headache, changes in vision, convulsions and seizures, hallucinations, nausea and vomiting, and joint pain.  Aspartame toxicity also mimics several other common health conditions, such as:  multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, ADD, depression and arthritis, just to name a few.

Aspartame contains aspartic acid that is an excitotoxin. This excitotoxin causes particular brain cells to become overly excited to the point where they die. A review conducted in 2008 by scientists from the University of Pretoria and the University of Limpopo found that consuming a lot of aspartame may inhibit the ability of enzymes in your brain to function normally, and may lead to neurodegeneration.

Now we know that artificial sweeteners are not healthy. But what about it being, at least, a low-calorie food? By reducing our caloric intake we can reduce our weight and be healthy, right?  Research has discovered that diet foods and drinks actually stimulate your appetite, thereby boosting your desire to overindulge.

As we become more aware of what is actually making us sick and making changes accordingly, we can be healthy. Health isn’t an illusion, but our right!

To your health!

Lici

There came a day when their father, Isaac, was old and thought he was on his death bed.  Preparing to get his affairs in order, he called Esau to him so that he could impart the blessing he had reserved for his firstborn, and favorite, son.  Now Esau, because he’d already sold his birthright to his brother Jacob for a bowl of porridge, wanted to claim his blessing.  Perhaps Esau “despised” his birthright in selling it so cheaply but I don’t think he ever really planned on parting with it.  He probably figured he could just physically intimidate Jacob.  But the blessing was his ace in the hole.  It was important to him.  If all else failed and he had to hold up to his bargain with Jacob, he would have that, at least.  But Jacob didn’t even allow him that comfort.  He and his mother devised a plan to trick Isaac into blessing Jacob, instead of Esau.  Isaac unknowingly blessed Jacob, giving him what belonged to the firstborn.  Esau was furious and Rebekah was forced to send her beloved Jacob away to save him.  So Isaac sent Jacob on a mission – to go to his Uncle Laban’s house (the brother of Rebekah) and get a wife from among their kin.

There, he met his cousin, Rachel and immediately fell in love with her.  He struck a bargain with the uncle.  Because he came with nothing to offer, he would work for his bride for seven years.  He loved her so much, the time flew by.  But after the marriage he learned that he, for a change, had been tricked.  Not the beautiful Rachel but her sister, Leah, had been wed to him.  Laban agreed to give Rachel to Jacob if he worked another seven years.  So Jacob worked hard for Laban for fourteen years, increasing his livestock.  But Laban deceived Jacob repeatedly, changing his wages whenever it suited him.  Jacob eventually tired of the games, gathered his family and possessions and set off for home.

By this time, Jacob‘s family had expanded to include the children of Leah, Rachel and their handmaidens.  He was well on his way to becoming the father of twelve tribes and a great nation.  Rachel, his favorite wife, had even managed to bear a child, Joseph – of The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat fame.  As they traveled home, Jacob received word that his brother, Esau was coming to meet them.  Jacob was struck with terror for his vulnerable young family.  He feared his chickens were finally coming home to roost and Esau must be coming for payback.  Jacob prepared to meet his brother, softening him up by sending many gifts of livestock in advance.  He hoped to save his family and his own life.  Envisioning the worst case scenario, he divided his family into groups, so that some of them would have a chance at surviving an attack.  He kept Rachel and Joseph, treasured above all, closest to him.  Their lives were on the line.

That night, Jacob went to sleep.  In the middle of the night, he was accosted by a strange man.  Jacob grabbed him and wrestled with him.  They grappled into the dawn, dislocating Jacob’s hip but still, he wouldn’t let go.  Finally the angel, for that is who he’d wrestled with, said to him “Let me go, for the daybreak is coming.”  Jacob knew that the angel must surely carry a message – it’s kind of what they do.  So he replied, “Not until you bless me!”  He meant, “What have you come to show me?”  There had to be a reason for this display.  The angel asked “What is your name?”

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” (Genesis 32:28)

Message delivered.  His former name was an account of his life, to date – the deceit and trickery that he’d used to supplant his brother from his rightful position.  The things he’d done which caused him to run away, rather than face his brother’s anger, he now had to deal with.  During his absence, Jacob grew up and learned it wasn’t right to deceive people just to get what you wanted.  Having been on the receiving end of treachery, he was wiser.  When the angel changed his name, he acknowledged that personal transformation.  He let Jacob know, “That’s not who you are any longer!”  Because God had blessed him so much, he no longer envied Esau or anyone their possessions.  No longer would he use his inherited cunning and devious nature for ill gotten gain.  He was not that person anymore, nor was he bound by his past.  He came away from that experience stronger.  His reality changed.  He was able to face his brother, who was quite happy to see him, as it turned out.

Lately, when faced with situations, temptations or desires that used to defeat me, I get a mental picture of wrestling.  I used to think it was me, grappling with that particular issue and trying to overcome it.  “Wrestling with my demons”, so to speak.  Now, I’ve come to another realization, for this story has stuck with me.  God is giving me a message, too.  “You can overcome what you’ve done, all of your past sins and defeats.  And what you have become is not all there is – I want to bless you truly and give you a new name and a new future.  You’re not wrestling with demons; you’re wrestling with me as I fight with you, for you.  I want to improve you and to bless you beyond belief.  I want to show you who you really are.”  I realize now, the fight is to get me to let go of that person I was, so that he can show me who I truly am.

Be blessed,

Loria

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People give lots of reasons for dissatisfaction with the Hero. Battery life is chief among the complaints. There’s also sluggish performance. Of course, there’s the fact that the Hero is running the oldest of the current versions of Android, with a rumored upgrade nowhere in sight.

So, yeah – I get frustrated with my Hero, occasionally. Did I make a bad purchase? No. I didn’t. Even with all the above issues (which, by the way, none are deal breakers for me), I am still pretty happy with my phone. I look at it like this: Android is still a fairly new OS. Being so, I expect that there will be growing pains. One of which are upgrades. So what my Hero is running v1.5? I knew that when I bought it. There WILL eventually be an upgrade. It’s not like my phone is suddenly obsolete because there are later versions out. It still performs the same functions it did when I was excited about buying it. As for its issues, there are tons of tips on workarounds or modifications on the Net for you to try if you aren’t happy. It’s like buying a computer. You don’t buy a new computer and expect to never have to upgrade it, or expect to never have problems with it, right? I have never had a smartphone (or phone period) that didn’t have something about it that I would change/improve. It’s just the nature of the beast.

The Hero is a great entry phone into the Android world. It’s not a high end phone, nor is it a bargain basement cheap-o. It’s a good mid-range option to get started with. It’s made well and, to be honest, v1.5 is a good version to learn Android with. It’s pretty simple and straight forward.

Basically, what I’m saying is the Hero is worth your patience. Take the time to get to know your phone. If you’ve been following my posts, you’ll know I’m a huge advocate of using forums as reference tools. Read them! There are tons of experts out there giving away knowledge for free! Remember, the upgrade HAS been confirmed. It is coming! Just think how awesome the Hero will be running v2.1?

No more blues!

About Me…

I’m Adonis a complete and total card carrying techno-geek and proud of it.  LOL!  I’m also a father of a beautiful young lady who is turning into a techophile in her own right.  I have been into technology ever since I had my first computer, a TRS-80.  It was love at first sight!

I am into everything from computers, game consoles, handheld devices and everything in between. My current passion is wireless tech and cellphones.

So basically, my blog is about technology I find interesting, how it affects my life, and my life in general. Sound interesting?  I hope so.  Ciao!

My Tech Life

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by J. Barrington

The story thus far …

The life of a telepath is no leisurely coast up the bayou. As a matter of fact, it’s more like falling overboard and wrestling with the alligators. Fighting off the unwelcome innermost thoughts of humans, my whole life, proved to be so challenging that most of the locals labeled me as crazy. 24/7, my mind involuntarily read the thoughts of most humans within close proximity. Then my eyes were opened to the mysterious world of the supernatural also known as the Supes. Realizing that you are on the bottom of the Supe food chain, as well, is bound to put a negative spin on a gal’s Joie de Vivre.

Bon Temps is a small, rural community on the northern tip of Louisiana, which is fast becoming a summit of Supernatural activity. I live on several acres of wooded land that has belonged to the Stackhouses for over a hundred years and was left to me when my grandmother died. My home is just as old and has been added on and improved over the years but in the end, still looks like what it is, a farmhouse and I love it. Over the years the grounds have proven to be the nucleus of the Supe community and drawn creatures of every walk of life to my doorstep. Well, sort of.

My journey began when vampires decided to “Come out of the Coffin” as they put it, and show the world that they truly exist. This exposition was made on the heels of the mass production of a synthetic blood created by the Japanese called Trueblood. The world was now convinced that vampirism was a virus. The symptoms of the virus were sensitivity to sunlight, which led to complete incapacitation until sundown and severe anemia. The end result: vampires organized themselves and flooded mainstream society touting that humans were not in danger of vampires because they could now survive on synthetic blood.

Less than a year ago, another group of Supes followed suit. The great Were Revelation confirmed to the human world that the tales of werewolves and shape shifters were more than just folklore. The most difficult part to accept was that these two-natured beings, which were naturally faster and stronger than humans, didn’t live in crypts across the sea or across town; they were our neighbors, co-workers, friends, siblings, parents and spouses. Other than a few shootings, crucifixions, beheadings and body burnings, the two groups were pretty well accepted by the world at large.

My life as a barmaid in a small town was pretty simple and uneventful. A few years ago, Bill Compton, who was a native of Bon Temps, over a century ago, walked in the bar as our first vampire patron and catapulted me into the Supernatural world. The pinnacle is that my telepathy, of which I viewed as a curse all my life, was treasured by the Supernatural community. My lonely existence blossomed into one full of love and admiration from my many Supernatural friends and suitors. The pit is that my puny human casing lacked the armor that would protect me from being brutally beaten, kidnapped, beaten, assaulted, poisoned, beaten, staked, raped, drained, beaten, bombed, shot and, oh yeah, BEATEN!  It was tantamount to “going bear hunting with a switch”, as my grandmother used to say.

All the horrific attempts on my life paled in comparison to what the Fae had in store for Sookie Stackhouse. I had learned, quite recently, that my ancestry included a fairy bloodline instead of Stackhouse. To vampires, it meant that I would be more alluring than the average human and my blood would taste better. Some of the Fae believed that reproducing or consorting with humans robbed them of their magic. Therefore, all mixed breeds, especially me, needed to be extinguished. The Fae were physically the most beautiful creatures to ever walk the earth. I learned the hard way that they were also the most deadly…

J. Barrington

About the author: J. Barrington is an avid fan of the Sookie Stackhouse paranormal mysteries by Charlaine Harris, so much so, that she couldn’t wait for the next book and decided to pick up where the last one left off!  We were able to woo her to this blog with much gentle persuasion and very subtle arm twisting.  Tune in weekly for the next installment of Back from the Dead.

Developed for Android by HootSuite

This application does look nice but in my opinion it has too many screens.  I’m not used to going to a main screen to open up another screen for a different action.  I prefer most actions to be incorporated into one screen with menu options or tabs.  Some people have found this to be the Twitter application for them, I however, still prefer Seesmic.  I always endeavor to try out new apps as they hit the Market so I will say to everyone, it’s definitely worth trying out!

Rating: 2 Stars

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Our vitamin D levels have a dramatic effect on our entire body. What is really frightening is that it is thought that over 95 percent of our senior citizens and 85 percent of the American population are deficient, including our children. Being out in the sun for 30 minutes a day allows our body to produce about 20,000 IUs of vitamin D. That is an equivalent of about 50 typical multivitamins or 200 glasses of milk!  However, during the winter months, we are stuck indoors more often. Getting that 30 minutes a day of sun is near impossible. To optimize our levels we have two other alternatives. The first alternative is to utilize a safe tanning bed where the harmful emissions are shielded.  The second is to take a high-quality supplement. Although our body has a way of insuring we do not overdose on vitamin D when we are exposed to the sun or the tanning bed, it cannot guard itself against an overdose of this vitamin when we supplement.

To prevent an overdose or to check for deficiencies, we must test our vitamin D levels regularly. We need to work with our doctors to reach optimal levels. It is important to keep in mind if you decide to take oral supplementation that vitamin D3 is a human vitamin D where vitamin D2 is inferior and a synthetic version. You can purchase vitamin D3 at your local health food store, but I would first check my levels.

I find it strange that given the fact that optimal vitamin D levels could prevent diseases, it is not checked by mainstream doctors more regularly. Let’s take our health in our own hands and request our levels be checked. It is my hope that by educating ourselves about what our body needs we can live long and disease free lives.

Here’s to our health!

Lici

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.”

“so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.” Psalm 78:6

People in my family are all big talkers.  When we get together, we can talk through the night and into the early hours of the morning.  It’s what we do.  So when my brother came to town to visit and stayed in my home, I knew we were overdue for one of our long sessions where we sit down and try to delve into deep matters and solve the problems of the world.  This night, our focus was more on personal growth and resolving past issues in our own lives – how to move forward and stop repeating the mistakes of the past.  He told me of a conversation he had with our late father, who was not a demonstrative man like most people of his generation.  Physical displays of affection just didn’t happen.  But he tried to show he cared for us in his own way – by talking.  He never failed to have a sermon on his lips, a lesson or a story.  He believed he should be prepared to “preach in season and out of season”.  So he talked to my brother one day about how he had a personal responsibility to raise his sons or they would be lost.  He told my brother, “We could lose an entire generation.”  That conversation made an impression on my brother and he never forgot.  My father put the load squarely upon his shoulders – he could not fail the next generation.

Fast forward 20 plus years – he claims he’s only 26 and still looks pretty young, I’ll give him that – he has lived his life and made some mistakes.  He’s lived to regret some of the things he’s done.  Surprisingly, he reached out to me and my kids.  He came to stay with me for a while – in hindsight, I suspect he knew I needed help.   He soon became a welcome presence at my house and filled the role of the loving, indulgent uncle.  He remembered how our own uncles mentored him and followed their example.  I credit him (and other men who stepped up to the plate) with mentoring my son and for earnestly trying to provide a good example for him in his father’s absence.  The kids loved his visits and his presence helped to heal us.  I wonder now if he felt he was doing this for his own family, by proxy.  I guess in reaching out to help me and my family, he also healed himself of guilt over his past and saw where he could make changes.

I feel like my brother learned from his interaction with the kids.  He saw things from my ex husband’s perspective and he understood why my ex was initially unable to reach out to his own son.  But he was also able to see, thru my children, his own kids’ perspective and how his sons (now grown) yet still needed him.  He could see that divorce had not affected my children’s capacity to love and respect their father.  He reached out to my son, giving him the love and guidance that he wished he could have given his own sons.  By this time, his sons were raising their own sons.  How could they raise their sons or relate to them, talk to them, teach them, mentor them without having an example?  Would they grow up to make the same mistakes that he did, thereby passing that mentality down to their offspring?  The responsibility that our father laid on him so long ago resurfaced, demanding that he take action.  My brother resolved that he did not want to lose an entire generation.

So he reached out to his own children.  Kids have an amazing ability to forgive their parents and love unconditionally.  They stand ready to welcome you back into their lives because deep down – they still want to see you (the parent) as their hero.  They don’t want you to have feet of clay.  They want to see a mom or dad who can still do anything.  They have distant memories of riding high on your shoulders or watching as you fixed a broken toy that seemed beyond repair.  They want to believe in you again.  It took real courage for my brother to take that step.  Change is hard but also necessary if you want to avoid the collision course that you (and your family) may be on.  In taking a proactive approach, he’s doing what’s needed to avert disaster.  And he’s living proof that that it’s never too late to live down your mistakes and live up to your expectations.  Even at the ripe old age of … 26.

Many times we feel powerless over the path our lives have taken.  Some of us give up because we feel we cannot make a difference; it’s too late.  We cannot undo the past.  We think even if we change what we’re doing right now, it won’t help.  We can’t change how we’ve hurt people in the past or how our actions have impacted the lives of our loved ones.

But I believe that we are empowered to make big changes by the success of the small changes.  Each step brings us closer to our ultimate goal and gives us confidence to make the next step.  Before we know it, we are striding forward purposefully, marching even, steamrolling over obstacles in our determination to create a better future.  Similarly, it can take just one person to impact the next generation.  One person can make that difference – even if it’s only in their own little corner of the world.  It starts with us and the examples and standards we set for our families.  And in doing so, we all take on the challenge to salvage the “lost” generation.

Be blessed,

Loria

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Android has 3 main different versions.  They are all Android; in the same sense that that all versions of Windows are all Windows.  Actually, it’s not that extreme but you get my point – I hope.  These are the versions of Android in phones that are currently for sale.  These versions range from v1.5 on the Hero (yes, I’m frustrated) to v1.6 on the G1 to v2.0 on the Nexus One.  To make things even more sticky, there are different manufacture interface mods on top of those (HTC Sense – Hero, Motoblur – Motorola, etc.).  Now, there is a fairly substantiated rumor that all current handsets will soon be updated to v2.1.

The main difference between the versions (reportedly) is speed, stability and new functionality.  Upgrades, like turn-by-turn navigation, will be available on most (if not all) devices that are upgraded to v2.1.  Version 2.0 has most of the functionality that v2.1 will bring to phones running v1.5 or v1.6.  Confused yet?  Fahged aboud it! [Ok. My Italian accent needs work.]

1.5 (Cupcake)

Released: 30 April 2009
Features:
Ability to record and watch videos with the camcorder mode
Uploading videos to YouTube and pictures to Picasa directly from the phone
A new soft keyboard with an “Autocomplete” feature
Bluetooth A2DP support (which in turn broke Bluetooth connectivity with many popular cars and headsets. This has still yet to be fixed as of Dec-09)
Ability to automatically connect to a Bluetooth headset within a certain distance
New widgets and folders that can populate the desktop
Animations between screens
Expanded ability of Copy and paste to include web pages

1.6 (Donut)
Released: 15 September 2009
Features:
An improved Android Market experience.
An integrated camera, camcorder, and gallery interface.
Gallery now enables users to select multiple photos for deletion.
Updated Voice Search, with faster response and deeper integration with native applications, including the ability to dial contacts.
Updated search experience to allow searching bookmarks, history, contacts, and the web from the home screen.
Updated Technology support for CDMA/EVDO, 802.1x VPN, Gestures, and a Text-to-speech engine
Speed improvements for searching, the camera.

You actually don’t need to devote much brain power to this situation; as of right now, even v1.5 will run at least 85% of the apps in the Android Market.  The percentage is probably even higher than that.  I have yet to run into an app that I couldn’t run on my Hero – other than those that specifically say v2.0 is needed.  That list is growing, but there is no danger of running out of compatible apps anytime soon.

As I mentioned earlier, there has been a pretty pervasive rumor that all handsets will be getting a [hopefully] OTA (over the air) update in the near future.  Now so far, none of this has been officially confirmed by anyone.  It’s the rumor that won’t go away.  It’s been “unofficially” confirmed by many industry information sources, so it is probably real in some form or another.  I just hope we see it this quarter.

Synopsis:  Don’t freak out over it.  You’re not going to be “behind”.  Once v2.1 drops everyone will be on an even keel again and all the developers will be ecstatic.  Of course, there will still be the manufacturers/carrier mods.

Ciao!

About Me…

I’m Adonis a complete and total card carrying techno-geek and proud of it.  LOL!  I’m also a father of a beautiful young lady who is turning into a techophile in her own right.  I have been into technology ever since I had my first computer, a TRS-80.  It was love at first sight!

I am into everything from computers, game consoles, handheld devices and everything in between. My current passion is wireless tech and cellphones.

So basically, my blog is about technology I find interesting, how it affects my life, and my life in general.  Sound interesting?  I hope so.  Ciao!

My Tech Life

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Today I was sitting and thinking about giving and receiving.  My mother is a very giving person, she genuinely gives from the heart without thought or consideration about her own needs.   There were times when my mother gave to those who were so much better off than her financially and it bothered me.  My mother was struggling desperately, we were poor and living in a building that should have been abandoned and yet family members would come from out of town to visit and my mother would always send them away with a gift.  You see, my mother had boxes of new items for that nice apartment we would someday move into; she referred to all those boxes of goodies as her “hope chests”.  She shared her goodies generously, it bothered me that she was sharing those treasured goodies with people who were in a financial position to help her, yet they never did.

It has taken me years to come to the realization that she gave because it made her happy.  My mother’s generosity is part of what makes her my Mommy!  I love her dearly, she is one of the few people I believe I would give my life for in a second.  Giving and receiving are a part of life’s journey.   We give and receive love, gifts, friendship and so much more.  I personally know that Charm (my baby sister) and I are givers like my Mommy, giving genuinely gives us such pleasure.  I love to see people happy and smiling.  Those close to me know I have a giving nature.  Unfortunately, I have a problem with receiving and that is not good.  A very wise lady once told me (in her endeavor to give me a gift that I didn’t want to receive), that I was very selfish.  It hurt me.  I immediately asked her why she would say such a thing?  She told me, ”You have been a great help to me and I want to give you this gift because I love and appreciate you.  It would make me happy to see you receive it, but you want to deny me my happiness because you are too selfish to receive my gift.”   A light came on in my head - giving and receiving bring joy and happiness to both parties.  The giver gets joy from giving and the receiver gets joy from receiving.  Giving is not the only joy but receiving is as well.  I still struggle with receiving; I endeavor to remind myself that I’m being selfish because in receiving I take part in the joy of the giver.

What are your experiences on giving and receiving?  How does receiving a gift make you feel?  Share with me, what’s your story?

I’m Brenda Living Life & Learning from it…

“And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean.”

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” John 5:6 (NIV)

If you’re like me, you’re struggling with some issue or some bad habit that you cannot seem to overcome.  It has come up repeatedly and seems to constantly defeat you.  If you’re not like me and you’re looking for the perfect Christian representative, I suggest you stop reading now.  My life is far from perfect.  I am a work in progress.  I know we Christians invest an awful lot of energy into appearing perfect, like all is well in our lives.  It’s because we have been conditioned to believe that we must be doing something wrong if all is not well.  Well, something is wrong but it may not be that we are lying, cheating, stealing or doing something that is obviously wrong.  The problem may lie in our mindset.  I believe if we can change the way we think, we can change our lives.  As Dr. Phil says, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.”  Or put another way, “Only a fool believes he can continue to do the same thing and get a different result.”

I want to bring your attention to two miracles of Jesus from the Bible.  A man with leprosy came to Jesus and begged:  “Lord, if you are willing, you can heal me.”  Jesus replied, “I am willing.”  Many times we petition God in the same manner, leaving the matter up to him.   We say, “If you want to, you can help me.”  Things may not work out in the way we would like, leaving us angry because we feel he didn’t want to help us.  Or we say, “It wasn’t His will.”  In the second example, a crippled man waited by a pool that was believed to have miraculous healing power.   Jesus asked the man, “Do you want to be healed?”  The man answered him with excuses.  He skirted the issue by saying, “Well, I would like to but I don’t have anyone to help me into the water.”  This was not an answer to the question.  Jesus came to help him but was he willing to be healed?  I believe the same applies to us today:  Are you willing?  Are you willing to be stirred from excuses and self pity?  To stop assigning blame?  To lay all that aside and get to the root of the problem?   To dare to do something differently?  Do you have the courage to take on the issues of your life and make the necessary changes?  It occurred to me that, sometimes, it may be that we are missing that important piece of prayer – our own cooperation.  It may be that He IS willing but our progress is hampered because we are not willing (or maybe don’t understand how) to do our own part.

My daughter, typical teenager that she is, frequently thinks her world is coming to an end.  Every molehill becomes a mountain.  As a result, she has spent a good portion of her teendom in a sulk over this issue or that.  Touchy AND moody.  But then again, I cannot blame her – I believe she comes by these traits honestly.  She gets them from me.  And I, even seeing my flaws, was quite content to be that person until I saw those flaws magnified in her.  “Whoa!”  I thought.  I’ve got to get a handle on this.  I’ve got to find a better way.  Understandably, my daughter was pretty broken up over the divorce.  She really loved her daddy.  And she loved me, too – I was her hero.  There was a period of adjustment when, it seemed, all we did was scream at each other.  That was a rough time for us both – and for my son who had to witness it.  Bless him.  But I refused to give up.  I refused to lose my children, too.  I looked into my future and saw a daughter who hated me, who never came to visit because our relationship was so strained.  I saw a son who refused to be in the same house with us because of our bickering.  I did not want THAT to be our future.  So one day I told my daughter, “I love you.  I don’t want to lose you.  I want us to be close.  So I’m choosing to relate to you in a different way.”

Well, we’ve had plenty of arguments since that day.  But on the whole, our life and relationship is much better.  We’ve resolved a lot.  We talk a lot.  We cry a lot.  She made a choice that day, too.  She learned that it was ok to still love her father.  And I am still her hero (her words, not mine)!  Recently, I decided to apply that mentality to some of my present day struggles.  I learned from what worked in the past and decided to use it to change my life.  Some things I have prayed for years for God to take away from me – things I am ashamed of, things that do not make me a good Christian – I realized that they were but a choice for me.   If I choose to live my life differently, I can.  Now I say to those desires that used to entrap me, “I don’t want to be that person anymore.”  I picture myself wrestling and saying, “I’m reaching for something better, something higher.”

I know that sounds like a lofty goal but so far, it’s working for me.  I still struggle but I think this is helping me to keep my future goal in sight.  I’m living in the present, with my mind set on who I want to become.  Nope – I’m still not perfect.  Like most people, I’m doing the best that I can, with what I have, on most days.  But now, at least, I have a plan.  I am choosing a more excellent way.  The question has become, “Do you want to be a better person and live a different life?  Would you like to overcome these obstacles that prevent you from doing so?”  And my answer to that is, “I am willing.”

Be blessed,

Loria

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